Why I should stay

I can speak English. And even some Southern English.

I once ate spaghetti for a month straight.

I've used "ya’ll" in a nonironic sense.

I am not afraid of Krispy Kreme, but rather enjoy it.

100 Senators,
435 Representatives.

I totally watched that John Adams HBO Mini-series. And some of Deadwood.

I've been to at least 14 states, & I've only been chased out of two of them.